Through the Eyes of A Once Unwilling Thief
by Princess Shania
Summary: What was Bilbo thinking during the Quest to reclaim Erebor? Diary-based, Bilbo's POV of the Quest. May divert from canon and contains hinted Bagginshield.
1. Chapter 1

******I should warn you, some things will be changed, other things won't. Look no further than this chapter for an example!**

* * *

**_12th April 2941, __13:31pm_**

_'I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure.'_  
Gandalf must be having a laugh, surely. An _adventure_. Great Yavanna. Why did he not ask another Took? Even better, actually, he could've asked Lobelia and Otho and then perhaps they'd get lost and never return to the Shire. That would do quite nicely.

_**27th May 2941, 21:20pm**_

BLOODY HELL.

DWARFS.

EVERY-

WHY?

Two of them. Dwalin, who is quite frankly, colossal, and his white-haired brother, Balin. Both of whom have quite amazing beards.

Gandalf. I _know_ it's Gandalf. When I see him next, I'm going to- Oooh, the two at the door are quite nice. No. Absolutely _not_. I don't care how sweet-looking they are, I.. Aww, one of them's smiling.

And now he's scraping his boot on Mama's glory box.

And his blonde (equally adorable) brother has dumped his swords into my arms.  
Dwalin has his arm around the dark-haired smiling one. I follow them. They're trying to move something, saying about how they'll never fit everyone all in.

Everyone?

They won't answer when I ask how many more are coming.

_Well._

The doorbell goes. I've had enough.

"No. No, no, no. There's nobody home!" I say, before realising that was a considerably stupid thing to say. "Go away," I dump the swords on the floor, "and bother somebody else! If this is some _ clot-head's _ idea of a joke," a mad laugh escapes me, "I can only say," I stand by the door, "it is in very _poor _ taste."

There's now about ten Dwarfs on the floor. Gandalf pokes his head in.

The Dwarfs are crazy. And hell-bent on destroying Bag-End. My father would throw a hissy if he could see this. Why are they eating _everything_? One Dwarf brings Gandalf wine using the tiny glass I use for shots. He looks pretty disappointed with the tiny amount. Haha.  
Another of the Dwarfs (he's wearing a hat despite the fact the season's getting warmer) throws a piece of food to another Dwarf who had a ginger beard in a doughnut-styled braid. He catches it in his mouth to cheers from the rest of the group.

My father would definitely throw a hissy.

The Dwarf couldn't have missed catching it anyway.

Sweet Aule, they can drink. It reminds me of the time Hamfast Gamgee and I got into that drinking competion when we were tweens (may we never speak of that again).

Am rather impressed, though I try not to show it.

**_21:45pm_**

Have finally managed to corner Gandalf. He says I'll get used to them. I tell him the damage they've caused to Bag-End. He doesn't seem to mind much.

Bloody Wizard.

I can't dislike the Dwarfs too much, because a particularly polite one with purple ribbons in his hairs asks what to do with his plate.

Aww.

Before I can answer, the blonde one (Fili? I'm sure that's it) tells the polite one to give the plate to him and promptly chucks it over his shoulder.

That little shit.

That was one of my mother's plates.

Now they're thumping the table with their knives.

"Can you _not_ do that? You'll blunt them!" I say, a tad sharply, because to be frank, I'm getting annoyed and if they do blunt them, I'm going to hit the roof. Somehow.

"D'you hear that, lads?" The one with the hat asks. "He says we'll blunt them!"

_"Blunt the knives, bend the forks-"_

Great. Now they're singing.

_"-Smash the bottles and burn the corks-"_

Excuse me?

_"Chip the glasses and crack the plates-"_

If they _dare_...

_"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"_

Oh, I see. They're planning to destroy everything and mock while doing it. I'm going to kill Gandalf.

_"Cut the cloth and tread on the fat-"_

What does that mean, exactly?

_"Leave the bones on the bedroom mat-"_

That sounds like an innuendo.

_"Pour the milk on the pantry floor_  
_ Splash wine on every door-"_

I will cut their beards off if they do these things.

_"Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl-"_

Assuming crocks means crockery, that's not so bad..

_"Pound them up with a thumping pole-"_

I might've known.

_"When you've finished, if there are any whole-"_

There had better be stuff whole, you bearded...

_"Send them down the hall to roll..."_

Yes, do that, if you wish to be bald. I won't be stopping at your heads either...

_"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"_

Everything's neat. Oh. Feel abashed. I genuinely thought they were going to damage and destroy everything. Perhaps they're not all bad. Probably.

Their cackles end as three loud knocks echo through my smial. They're suddenly, deathly quiet. Gandalf, who's enjoying a smoke, takes his pipe out of his mouth. He looks very serious.

"He is here."

'He' turns out to be the sexiest thing to ever enter the Shire. Oh, he could enter- No. You've only just met. Now is not a good time for smutty imaginings, Bilbo!

"Gandalf, I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice."

He might be hot, but he has no sense of direction.

"Wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door."

"Mark?" I repeat. "There's no mark on that door, it was painted a week ago!"

Gandalf says he put it there. Of course he did. Sexy Dwarf's name is Thorin Oakenshield. As he looks at me, I notice he has eyes of the deepest, most gorgeous blue. And such tufty, long eyelashes...

"So, this is the Hobbit."

_**22:06pm**_

Apparently I look like a grocer. Well, there's no shame in that, you haughty pillock. I bring him soup, placing it down harder than necessary. He doesn't seem to notice, though he does give thanks for the soup.

Still not happy at the grocer comment.

He really likes the soup.

Have forgiven Thorin. It can't have been fun getting lost in the cold after all.

They're having a discussion about kingdoms and envoys and a place called the Iron Hills. There is a collective sigh of disappointment at the news someone named Dain isn't coming.

"They say this quest is ours and ours alone." Thorin tells the group, to their further disappointment.

"You're going on a quest?" I ask, with slight interest. As a child, I was always running about, pretending to be an adventurer, bringing home 'treasure' that consisted of wilting, brightly coloured flowers and pebbles. The child in me perked up at Thotin's mention of the quest he and his fellow Dwarrows were said to be going on.

Gandalf asks for light and when I return with it, he points at the map. "Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak."

"The Lonely Mountain." I read out.

"Oin has said the portents and the portents say it's time." One of the Dwarfs says. He's red-headed, but he's not the hatted Dwarf's brother, neither is he the litle polite one. Will have to try and find out names.

Time for what I wonder?

"Ravens have been seen flying back to the Mountain," I'm fairly certain this is Oin, the Portent Reader, "as it was foretold. _'When the birds of yore return to Erebor, the reign of the Beast will end'_."

"What Beast?" I ask.

"That would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, the greatest and chiefest calamity of our age." the hatted Dwarf (Bofur! I remember now) explains. "Airborne fire-breather, teeth like razors-"

"Yes, I know what a dragon is!"

The little polite Dwarf has stood up and said, in surprisingly impolite terms that he's not afraid of the Dragon.

"Sit down Ori!"

_Ah_. His name's _Ori_.

Fili says that they're all fighters. To the last Dwarf, he says. Again, no arguments.

His dark-haired brother goes on to say that Gandalf has most likely slain a few Dragons in his time. If he has and never told my mother, I wouldn't like to be him should she ever find out he has. She would not be happy with him keeping this piece of information.

An argument breaks out over how many Dragons Gandalf has slain. He looks quite awkward. I don't think he's slain any.

Thorin suddenly stands and shouts something in Dwarvish. Then, in Westron, asking them whether or not they think others have read the signs. They have, from what he says.

"Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we take this chance to _take back Erebor_?"

He's really motivational. Maybe he'll come back once Erebor has been reclaimed? No, this would probably be the last time I saw him. Why should he come back, after all?

Gandalf has given Thorin a key. Thorin looks like he's been handed his firstborn child. Gandalf says he got it from Thrain, who is Thorin's father, from what the Wizard says. Thorin looks amazed as he takes the key.

"If there's a key," the blonde Dwarf says, a look of wonder on his face, "there must be a door!"

Good Lord.

So, they need a burglar to get into this place. If I was to use blonde Dwarf's way of thought, I'd say they need to steal something. "You'd need a good burglar too, I imagine." I tell them, almost laughing at the thought of the poor idiot they're planning on using. Seriously, who would be foolish enough to go trekking acroos Middle Earth to-

Oh.

They're now looking at me.

I have a bad feeling about this.

_**22:48PM**_

The hatted Dwarf (who goes by the name of Bofur, apparently) was thoughtful enough to give a detailed description of the Dragon and how it would feel to get killed by it.

I passed out.

Still feel woozy.

Now Gandalf is standing by me, watching as Balin places a mug in my hands. Am not even clear-headed enough to say thank you.

A fine Hobbit I am.

Gandalf is still staring. "Bilbo?"

"'m fine. Just let me sit quietly for a moment."

"You've been sitting quietly for far too long." Gandalf declares.

Bloody hell, I've only been sat here a minute.

Don't even know how I got here to be honest.

"When did doilies and your mother's dishes become so important to you?"

"When did they-?"

_What?_

"They became important after I heard _both _my _ parents_ getting torn to _shreds _ by _wolves_. You remember the Fell Winter, surely?"

Was not aware of how my voice had risen. Most of the Dwarfs are looking curiously at us now.

Gandalf is looking apologetic. "I didn't mean-" Then, "Bilbo, I apologise."

"Apology accepted."

I get off my chair. All I want to do is show my guests where to sleep and then go to bed myself. This has been a heck of an evening.

Bofur is standing by the door, blocking my way. "Before anything else, would you like to hear a song?"

"I've already heard a song."

Now he's grinning. "Nah, a _proper_ song. Come on, lad."

_**23:00PM**_

Thorin is singing. He's got a deep voice that gives a sense of melancholy to his song.

_"Far over the Misty Mountains cold  
To dungeons deep  
And caverns old_

_We must away  
Ere break of day  
To find our long forgotten gold_

Now the other Dwarves are joining. Some are standing.

_The pines were roaring  
On the height  
The winds were moaning  
On the night_

_The fire was red  
It flaming spread  
The trees like torches  
Blazed with light_

Not a single one is smiling now. Thorin is gazing into the fire as though he can see his lost kingdom within the flames. Perhaps he can.

"They do need help regaining Erebor, Bilbo."

"Why my help?"

"Because," Gandalf's eyes are softening, "you are Belladonna Took's son. Not only that but you have your father's sensibility, which i'm sure will come in useful during the quest."

"Oi, _we're_ sensible!" Ori says.

Am very determinedly not looking at the others. Then I glance towards Thorin. He's not looking into the fire with that intensity anymore, but the want, the _need_ to find Erebor is still there.

He wants this so badly.

They all do, I realise, looking around. Well, Mama always said it was best to give people help. A saying my father fully agreed with.

Gandalf is now pushing the contract at me. Gods, he cannot wait to get started, that Wizard. Now, he's offering a quill. Yavanna only knows where he got it from. I don't remember leaving one around here.  
Thorin is looking at me. His eyes are like a deep, blue lake and when I finally tear my eyes away from his, writing my name on the contract doesn't seem so hard after all.

* * *

***clears throat* Yes. I know we're supposed to read the book from Bilbo's POV, but, this is _fanfiction_. If I wanted to write something from Azog's perception, I could. There's diary-based fics (brilliant, they are too!) from Thorin's POV, but I've not found one from Bilbo's, so I'm writing one. I hope it's enjoyed, reviews would be appreciated and please, don't worry, Recreation is not abandoned.**

**Love from Shania. xx**


	2. Fire and Wolves

**The adventure begins, Bilbo names his pony and watches the Dwarves, one catching his eye in particular.**

* * *

_**28th May 2941 5****:08am  
**_

"Umm, Mister Baggins?"

Who the _hell_ is this?

Opening an eye, I see deep blue eyes gazing into mine. Then a flash of light purple and suddenly I remember the events of last night.

I must be mad.

But Ori looks so anxious that I can't find the courage to tell him to go away. Not even politely.

"Alright, I'm getting up now," I say.

My bed is so _comfortable_, but his now hopeful expression isn't something I can ignore despite this fact.

"Did you sleep well?" I ask, following him.

He nods, little braids flying everywhere. "Thank you, yes."

"You had your brothers with you, didn't you?"

Ori grimaces. "They cling a lot. It's suffocating."

Will have to remind self not to sleep near his brothers.

_**6:15am**_

Can hardly stand. Is not natural to be awake at this hour. Dwarves seem cheerful enough. Bofur is happily humming The Ballad of The Destruction of Bag End.

_*Sigh*_

I really must be mad.

_**6:21am  
**_

If I'm mad, these lot are completely, irredeemably _barking_. Fili and Kili have decided in their youthful wisdom to start singing a very vulgar song at the top of their lungs.

Bofur is singing along now.

The elder Dwarves don't realise what's going on at first, but when they do, there's a lot of shouting (in only Dwarvish from one of them who, for some reason, bears an ax in his head) and threats flying around.

Well, I can see my reputation's going to go _right _ down the drain.

_**6:30am**_

There are ponies. They are colossal. I don't like ponies. As a rule, I don't like any animal that is larger than I am. The Dwarves are getting on them, while I'm left staring at one with fur the colour of walnut, a streak of white splashed across her nose. She's _huge_, even if her eyes are gentle, and there's no way on this Earth that I'm sitting on her.

"Aw, can't you reach her saddle?" Kili asks.

"No," I answer, meaning 'no I will not be straddling this beast. There is only one beast I'd like to straddle, and I'm fairly certain he'd stab me if I tried'.

"Not to worry!" Fili says.

With that the two of them swing off their ponies and advance towards me, slightly evil grins on their faces.

"L-lads, I can walk, it's really no-"

**_6:32am_**

Am now sitting on a bloody pony.

Bloody Dwarves.

**_6:45am_**

Think I've forgotten something...

**_6:51am_**

I was right. Have forgotten handkerchief. Just how I've managed that is anyone's guess. My father always did say I had my mother's memory.

They won't let me go back for it.

**_7:02am_**

Bofur has thrown me a brown rag as a replacement. He means well, but it looks like it's been marinating in...

Well.

It doesn't look appealing.

Let's just leave it at that.

**_7:32am_**

I used to come into these woods as a Fauntling. They never lose that beautiful, calm atmosphere, that sweet, earthy smell. There are little pale flowers sprouting through the ground, bright bluebells creating patches of colourful carpet through the forest.

It's like Heaven on Earth.

Even with sixteen ponies trampling through the plants, and thirteen Dwarves telling very odd tales to each other.

_**7:50am**_

Actually reminds me of walking holidays with my mama and father. Though at least they didn't hoist me up onto some huge beast.

**_8:03am_**

Pony's name is Myrtle. Balin told me to pick a name, and I have. It's not like anyone can complain about it, _Dwalin's_ pony is called Daisy.

**_8:07_**

Ori approves of my choice of name. He's named his 'Petal'. When I ask why, he claims that she's soft and pretty, just like a flower's petal.

He really is the most adorable thing.

**_8:09am_**

Ori, not the pony. It's a hideous animal compared to Myrtle.

**_13:27pm_**

We have finally stopped riding if only for a short while. Legs feel very heavy. I wonder how far we've come. Oh, who cares? The main thing is we've stopped and this time, I am _not_ going back onto Myrtle. I think the saddle's made of lead or something similar, because everything, arse-down, _aches_.

**_13:33pm_**

Regretfully, I shall have to kill Ori. Not one minute had I got the ability to stand by myself, and he came along and dragged me off to look at a clump of daffodils. I don't think he noticed I was stumbling and leaning on him.

Lucky Dwarves are strong.

Especially this one, it seems.

_**13:37pm**_

Ori's trying to thread some daisies together and looks more and more saddened by the minute as they refuse to co-operate.

"Don't you know how to make daisy chains?" I ask.

"I never learned," he says, looking woefully ashamed, "there were never many flowers, you see."

"Never mind. Would you like me to make one for you?"

He nods eagerly and stands closer as I start piercing the stalks and threading the stems through. His eyes widen and light up as the chain takes form.

**_13:44pm_**

His big-haired brother is ambling over to see what we're up to. Do all Dwarves like flowers?

**_13:46pm_**

Seemingly not, if the little amused huff he lets off is any indication. However, he ruffles Ori's hair and grins at me and then lopes off elsewhere.

Ori's making a daffodil chain.

Bless his little heart.

**_14:21pm_**

Back on the road, unfortunately. Everyone in the Company is now wearing one of Ori's flower chains. Even Thorin is. He keeps absent-mindedly playing with it.

I wonder if he'd wear a flower crown?

Hmm.

Will have to ask Gandalf about Dwarf Kings and flower crowns.

**_14:23pm_**

Ori wants to know why I'm not on Myrtle.

The answer would be 'because I'm fairly certain I'll never be able to sit again for the rest of my life', but I don't want to worry him.

I tell him it's because I want to get my fitness up.

He's not convinced. "But you'll wear yourself out!" He says.

"No," I say, "it'll be fine."

"Hobbits," Gandalf rumbles from the start of our line, "are built for walking. It'll be quite alright, Ori."

Thank you. Finally he comes in useful.

"But," says Ori, looking concerned still, "But-"

And then he catches sight of my feet.

"_Where are your shoes?!_"

**_14:25pm_**

While everyone's staring at my feet as though they were hairless (which they haven't been since I was 36, thank you very much!), I notice that Thorin's pulling all kinds of faces.

Eventually he slumps over and gives a muffled wail.

"What's funny?" Kili asks.

He's _laughing_. So that's what his laughter sounds like.

"You fools!" Thorin roars, clutching his sides. "They're _supposed _ to be like that!"

Gandalf is of no help at all, laughing harder than Thorin is, leaning on his staff to avoid falling off his pony, who is looking very confused at the on-goings around her.

"Not so long ago, Hobbits were travellers too." Balin says, hiding a smirk of his own.

"But why isn't he wearing any shoes?"

"They're said to have adapted to travelling life." I tell them.

"So, you could walk on fire if you wanted to?" Fili asks with interest.

"What? No!"

"You did try to, once." Gandalf says, nudging his pony on, having recovered from his laughing fit.

Oh, for... Not this _again_.

"What happened?" Bofur asks eagerly.

Knowing I won't be able to fob him off, I tell him (and the other nosy sods) "When I was 15, my mother told me Hobbit feet can endure most things. So, I stood in our fireplace."

"Come now, Bilbo, you can tell a story better than that!" Gandalf says.

I bet he's grinning now. Batty old Wizard.

**_14:50pm_**

Thorin is giggling.

Yes, I stood in a roaring fire for 5 seconds, _get over it_.

He does have a nice laugh, though. Deep and rumbling, like the crashes of a river.

I could listen to his laugh all day.

I think he's smiling, but I can't be sure.

**_18:00pm_**

We have stopped for the night.

Thank the gods.

"Come on, lad, I'll show you where to put your pony." Ori's other, grey-haired brother says. He's staring down at my feet.

For the love and honour of the Green Lady, they're _fine_. _Yes _ they're uncovered, _yes_ they _have _ felt fire and _yes _ I've been walking for about six hours.

But they're perfectly alright, you old fusspot.

**_18:56pm_**

I can hear howling.

There are wolves.

There are bloodthirsty, angry-eyed, murderous _wolves _out there.

Am shaking.

**_19:06pm_**

Bofur's telling one of his gruesome stories again.

His tales of Wargs are somewhat unsettling.

"Could you descibe a Warg?" Ori asks, holding a pencil over a piece of parchment.

"Aye," Bofur agrees. "They're like giant wolves, but they're bigger, angrier, wilder. They have sharp claws, sharper than razors even and their teeth are as pointed as the finest blade. You don't even _hear_ them and then.."

A pause for effect.

"They _kill_ you. Not _only_ to feed, but just for the fun of it."

Ori gives a little shiver and starts frantically scribbling away. "Will we encounter Wargs?"

"Undoubtedly." This time it's Thorin who answers, his eyes dark and grim. "We shall, but not tonight. All that wanders in the shadows tonight are wolves. Nothing more."

Well, it's alright for him. A wolf wouldn't dare cross Thorin. Nor any of them. A Hobbit, however..

**_22:58pm_**

Can't sleep. Keep hearing twigs snap and the like. Bedroll's a bit lumpy too. Comfortable enough, though. Still not enough to make me forget Bofur's tales of Wargs and the fact that there are undoubtedly wolves out there.

One of the Dwarves, Dwalin from what I can tell, goes up to Thorin who is on watch. They whisper for several moments and then Dwalin wallops Thorin's shoulder and takes his place.

Thorin's heading towards my bedroll.

Oh, bollocks.

Have closed eyes. Can still sense he is now standing besides me.

"I know you're awake."

I say nothing. He sighs. "Stubborn litle grocer."

"Hypocritical Dwarf," I mutter quietly.

Not quietly enough.

He gives a near-silent chuckle and sits down. "Open your eyes, little burglar."

I know I'm short, but must he call me 'little' all the time?

Thorin's eyes are softened. It's most remarkable to see. "I understand your fear."

"How?" I blurt out, not bothering to sound polite.

"I have lost family to a vicious beast too." Thorin says, gazing off into the distance. "And I felt fear."

"I'm sorry."

He waves off the apology. "I still grieve for them," he says, brushing at his considerably short beard, "and I always shall, but I know I have people who will fight with me, who will protect me if I need it."

Now he's looking at me, his eyes bright and burning. "Know this, we will fight with and for you, same as we will fight for and with each other."

Am not sure what to say. Currently gaping at Thorin. He's starting to grin. I think he thinks the whole thing is hilarious.

Say something, Bilbo!

"Um..I.. thank you." I eventually mumble.

He simply pats my shoulder and gets back up. "Go to sleep, little one."

**_23:09pm_**

Can't do anything.

Thorin. Touched. Me.

Have never been so happy.

Suppose I'd better try and sleep. Wolves would be the least of my problems if Thorin finds out I'm not asleep.

* * *

**At first, Thorin was going to be like he was in the movie, but then something happened and he's more like he is in the book, and by that I mean, he doesn't immediately shun Bilbo. He's like a mix of movie and books, he has Book!Personality and Movie!Sexiness.**


	3. On the Road Again

_**29th May 2941. 4:38am**_

I'm starting to sense a pattern here. This is the _second _ time now Ori's been the one to 'excuse me Master Baggins' me until I wake up. I was having a lovely dream too.

Thorin was in it.

He wasn't wearing anything.

_At all._

The real, clothed (unfortunately) Thorin is whisking porridge around in the pot while Bombur braids Bofur's hair.

Ori's ridiculously powerful for such a small, sweet-looking Dwarf. He's just pulled me up onto my feet as though I weigh nothing.

Lobelia must have been right about my not being proper Hobbit weight.

_**4:47am**_

I don't want to eat. Fricking tired.

**_4:50am_**

Dori (Ori's silver-haired sibling) wants to know why I'm not eating.

I'm _trying_, confound it!

Although he does bear a point. Hobbits love food.

We just don't like eating when we're half awake.

Ori whispers that Dori will probably take the spoon and feed me himself in a minute.

He _wouldn't_.

Would he?

Better not risk it.

**_5:09am_**

Starting to suspect Yavanna is punishing me for something.

**_5:12am_**

Thorin's demanding that I get on Myrtle. I don't care how much he glares at me with those eyes, blue and gleaming like freshly cut sapphires.

_No_.

_**5:18am**_

He clearly can't take 'no' for an answer.

Great hairy bugger. Lifting up Hobbits without listening to their perfectly reasonable reasons for not wanting to ride a pony.

He's grinning at me now.

Old sod.

**_8:23am_**

_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

**_9:13am_**

At this rate, I'm not going to die at the flames of a dragon, I'm going to die of a broken arse.

_**9:17am**_

_Can _ you break your arse?

Quite a worrying thought, actually.

**_10:42am_**

It's bloody raining now.

Dori's asking Gandalf to stop the rain.

Gandalf says that if Dori wants the weather changed, he should find himself another Wizard.

"Are there any?" I ask.

"Any what?"

"Other Wizards?"

He says, indeed there are, there's five of them!

We're all doomed. Especially if the other four Wizards are like him.

"..And then there's Radagast the Brown." Gandalf finishes off.

"Is he a great Wizard or is he... more like you?"

Gandalf looks around, eyes showing surprised amusement. "I think he's a very great Wizard. In his own way."

I know what that means. It means this Radagast is _bonkers_.

So, I suppose he _is_ more like Gandalf.

_**17:32pm**_

Have finally stopped for the night. Rain's gotten worse. Totally soaked through and Thorin has spotted a cave he thinks we might as well bunk down in for the night.

I'm freezing.

**_17:36pm_**

Bofur's put his hat on my head.

Am touched.

**_17:43pm_**

The Dwarves have gotten rid of their clothes.

I'm seeing a lot more nudity than I'm used to. Too much, actually.

Have pulled Bofur's hat over my eyes.

Hopefully, they'll think I'm sleeping.

_**18:34pm**_

Actually did fall asleep.

Am awoken by Bofur gently tipping the hat up and shaking my shoulder.

"Go on and get your supper," he says, smiling like the lunatic he is.

I offer his hat back and he shakes his head. "You need more warmth than I do, lad."

Aww.

He's so lovely.

Even if his stories are alarming.

**_18:42pm_**

If Bombur was a Hobbit, he'd be married with about 30 children by now.

His cooking is delicious.

It's not as delicious as Thorin is, but it's a close second.

He's only wearing his tunic. His boots are off and I can see his strangely small feet with not even a hint of foot hair. They're oddly adorable. His toes are miniscule, especially the ones on the end. Even Fauntlings have bigger feet than that.

How do those tiny little things hold him? He's at least twice my weight.

Do all Dwaves have small feet?

_**18:53pm**_

They do. They're absolutely _tiny._

**_18:56pm_**

Oh, gods, _don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh..._

_**19:02pm**_

Have settled for coughing instead.

Ori is smacking my back as hard as he can in a well-meaning (if painful) attempt to help.

**_19:24pm_**

Have decided I'm definitely being punished by Yavanna for something. Can't think what for.

_**19:31pm**_

One of the Dwarves is drying my hair. It's Bofur's older cousin. Am starting to suspect the Dwarves want every part of my body to ache. Also, how _humiliating_. Being dried off like a 10 year old Fauntling. To make matters worse he keeps growling at me every time I try to escape.

Am going to kill Wizard.

**_19:52pm_**

Bugger's not stopping. It's been over twenty minutes, hair's going to be huge. I'm going to resemble a sheep after this ordeal is over.

Oh, how the respected have fallen.

**_20:03pm_**

I was right. My hair is fluffed up and Bofur's cousin looks shocked, if slightly amused.

"Bloody hell! Bifur, what the hell did you do to his head?" Bofur wants to know.

Everyone else is hysterical with laughter, batty old goon we call a Wizard included.

Nori comes over and shakes his head. "I've seen this before," he declares. "It used to happen to Ori in humid weather."

"Well, what did you do?" I ask.

His eyes go wide in an attempt to look frightening (the drama queen). "We...cut his hair."

That's not so bad, actually. Hair could have done with a trim, truth be told. "Oh, that's alright then."

**_20:05pm_**

I'm surrounded by crazy Dwarves. This is worse than that time the Baggins and the Tooks all got together for Yule. Bifur has his hands clamped over my hair as though he's afraid it will fall out.

He should've thought about that before vigorously towelling my head, then.

I think Nori's in shock. Can't think why, however.

**_20:45pm_**

Turns out hair-cutting is frowned upon in Dwarven society. Something about their long hair and wondrous beards being to do with honour.

So, _that's_ why they have hair like lasses and beards like Wizards.

Though I'm not currently talking to a Certain Wizard.

He could have at least told me about the Dwarves' hair fetish.

**_20:53pm_**

Ori and Bifur are examining my hair.

_*sigh*_

Will this night never end?

_**20:59pm**_

Have decided Ori's my favourite. At least one of them isn't giggling at my new hairstyle.

He's so polite.

**_21:23pm_**

Thorin wants us to all go to bed now so that we can get up earlier tomorrow. Cave's warm and cosy, but I'm wide awake thanks to Bifur's inability to stop giving my hair little tugs to make sure I've not cut it.

I suppose he means well.

_**21:34pm**_

Ori's decided to sleep near me tonight. Yavanna knows why, but it's a pleasant surprise (for both me and him, I should think.)

_**21:42pm**_

Ori is apparently, a cuddly sleeper. His arms are tightly wound around my waist and he is completely not bothered about this little fact.

To be quite honest, neither am I.

* * *

**Not Orilbo slash, but they're my first choice if someone was to offer me two of the Company to hug and cuddle. Ori does seem the type to be a cuddly sleeper and MY GOD, the cuteness would be unreal if Bilbo and Ori were in fact cuddling one day *squee*. ****Of course I love all the others, but Ori's just so cute. He's my baby. But Fili and Kili are my babies too. In fact, t****hey're all my babies. XD ****The point I'm making here, is I'm fairly sure we've all got at least one character who we can't help but squee over despite the fact we've got other characters we adore too.**


	4. Trolls, Swords and Wargs

_**31st May 2941 7:38pm**_

It has been _pissing_ down for the past two days. Finally it's stopped and we're not all dripping wet anymore.

At last.

We're now stopping by a thoroughly destroyed house in the middle of nowhere. Thorin is looking rather annoyed with Gandalf, who is talking about something called 'The Hidden Valley'.

How can you find this Valley if it's hidden?

Will have to ask Ori, perhaps later.

_**7:44pm**_

Something got Gandalf pretty riled up. He's gone now and Thorin's starting to look frustrated. Have no idea what to do. Don't like seeing him upset. It usually means he ends up shouting at someone.

_**8:57pm**_

Bofur's given me two bowls to give to Fili and Kili who are guarding the ponies. I wonder if they'll have stuck by them all this time.

**_9:21pm_**

It's quiet. _Too _ quiet.

Especially for those two.

They're not looking as I step towards them. In fact, they're completely still, staring at something ahead. They don't even blink at the presence of the food.

Dwarves can be really odd sometimes.

**_9:32pm_**

Those total knobs.

They've lost two ponies.

_Two ponies._

By Yavanna's sweet smile.

The hell do you lose two ponies?

"Well, that's not good," I tell them. "Shouldn't we tell Thorin?"

"No," says Fili a tad quickly, "best not worry him."

I have a feeling Thorin spends most of his life worrying about those two.

"As our official burglar," Kili says, "we thought you might look into it."

I wonder what they'd say if it was Thorin who came with their supper and not me? Would they ask him to 'look into it'? Still it can't be anything too dangerous...

**_10:23pm_**

Have a strong urge to run back to camp and hide behind Thorin.

There are Trolls. Ugly ones too.

A familiar neighing catches my attention and I'm horrified to see one Troll has my lovely Myrtle and Minty (Thorin's pony!) underneath one flabby arm.

"They have Myrtle and Minty!" I whisper to Fili and Kili. "I think they're going to eat them, we have to do something!"

Both look to me as though I can make diamonds out of thin air. "Yes!" Kili whispers back. "You should!"

_ME?!_

Why should _I _ do it? _They're _ the idiots who lost the ponies!

"Mountain Trolls are slow and stupid-"

Like him and his brother then, I suppose.

"And you're so small, they'll never catch you." Fili says.

"It's perfectly safe!" Kili says. "We'll be right behind you."

I suppose I can trust them to keep their words.

**_10:44pm_**

The little shits have abandoned me.

Will murder them once I finish looking for the ponies. I can't go back now. Not to a bunch of hardened warriors who've probably been battling Trolls since they were of age.

**_10:58pm_**

My life's gone so downhill. I'm currently waiting underneath a Troll's arse to try and steal his knife.

**_23:17pm_**

Good Lord.

Am covered in gunk.

_EUGH_

**_23:20pm_**

Luckily, the stupid bugger's dropped (rather, thrown) me onto the ground. Am currently running around trying to escape them.

**_23:23pm_**

Have been captured by a Troll.

Troll is holding me upside-down in one giant hand. Is surprisingly gentle. Would be somewhat pleasant if I wasn't struggling to breathe. Am very aware that he could eat me before I'd even have time to react.

Oh, good, they're _discussing _ it now.

_*sigh*_

I'd rather be in the rain than this.

One of the Trolls is shrieking now.

"Drop him!"

Kili! He's come to help me!

He could die.

Before I can tell him to run, to do something to avoid being captured, he's yelling 'Drop him!'

The troll has now complied. Can hear loud roars as I'm flying through the air.

**_23:35pm_**

Hobbits were not designed to fly. Fortunately, it seems Dwarves were made to catch things and tumble around without getting hurt, Kili brushing himself off while asking if I'm alright and apologising for taking so long.

Truth be told, I don't really blame him.

Ah, the ponies. Poor things are neighing and chasing each other, afraid and confused.

**_23:59pm_**

Oh, for the love of Mahal's hairy left toe (as Ori would say).

Not _again_.

This is getting annoying now. And embarrassing.

Being held with your legs spread apart in front of your companions does have a rather humiliating effect.

_**12:02pm**_

THEY WANT TO RIP MY ARMS OFF!

_**12:05m**_

Are they going to leave me?

**_12:16pm_**

They've plunged their weapons into the ground, Ori hurling his catapult as hard as he can.

Don't know whether to be relieved or not.

**_03:23am_**

"-I don't fancy being turned to stone!"

Trolls turn to stone under sunlight? _Interesting..._

**_03:27am_**

Having a conversation with Trolls about cooking Dwarf. Am pointedly ignoring the Company's protests.

Gloin and Dwalin in particular don't sound at _all _ happy.

OHSWEETYAVANNAONEOFTHEMISHOLDINGBOMBURANDWANTSTOEATHIM!

**_03:38am_**

I don't know _quite _ how this happened, but somewhere between the lurching horror of seeing Bombur about to get golloped down and the Tookish streak Mama gave me, I accused the Dwarves of having parasites.

I didn't _mean _ to.

Might as well go along with the lie now.

"We don't have parasites! _You _ have parasites!"

For the sake of the Green Lady. Kili, you complete idiot.

Thorin's just aimed a kick at him.

"I've got parasites as big as my arm!" Oin announces.

"Mine are the biggest parasites, I've got huge parasites!" Kili declares.

At _last_ they get it.

Ori is a bit confused about the situation, asking what everyone what's going on about as he's being slowly spun over the flames.

Wait a second.

Why is he on the..?

Oh _no!_

**_03:54am_**

Stupid the Trolls are, but one of them has worked out that I was telling a lie to them.

_Rats_.

There was no need to call me a ferret, though. That was unpleasantly rude.

**_4:17am_**

Dear Yavanna. I thought Dwalin was terrifying. An angry Troll is at least three times more so. Gloin is telling the Troll to pick on someone its own size.

Dawn's light is creeping over the trees, casting a pale yellow glow and I have a horrible feeling that even if they do get turned to stone, at least one of them will have had a Hobbit-sized snack.

Mama will probably say it's a fitting way for a Took to go out. I fear to think what Papa will have to say about it.

**_4:20am_**

_"The dawn will take you all!" _

Could've done with Gandalf a few hours earlier.

At least the Trolls aren't a problem anymore.

_**4:26am**_

Aw, Ori. Poor thing's trembling, but refuses to acknowledge this, instead fussing over his brothers. Gandalf is talking to Thorin, and the two seem to have made up despite their earlier argument.

Now Thorin's heading off.

Why can't we all just stick together?

**_4:42am_**

We've now discovered a cave and _Yavanna almighty_, it absolutely _reeks_.

Bugger this, I'm going back outside. If they want to have the hair inside their noses fall out, that's their problem.

**_4:45am_**

Ori's sensible. He came along.

**_4:46am_**

He looks rather solemn. Can't think why.

**_4:47am_**

"Mister Baggins..."

Wait a moment..

That look. That tone.

I've heard and seen this before.

The hell have I upset him...?

Oh.

_**4:48am**_

Ori should come with a warning label.

**Warning: If he's upset with you, he'll look terribly sad and destroy your heart by softly telling you he was scared and that he doesn't want you to die.**

I think he's the most dangerous Dwarf of them all.

He's going to be the death of me one day.

"...Please don't go to any other dangerous creatures again." Ori finishes.

If he never puts me through this again, I'll promise him anything.

**_4:52am_**

Satisfied with my promise, and one hug later, he's now skipping off to join Dori.

_He_ doesn't look happy with me either. Pray Yavanna he doesn't come along to give a scolding of his own. That would really ruin the morning.

**_4:53am_**

Thorin's coming up now. Am slowly walking away.

I know for a damn fact he's not going to be happy.

**_4:55am_**

He's walked past me, heading towards a patch of sunlight. The sun gleams through his hair, highlighting his streaks of silver, glinting off his beads and clasps. He's holding a ginormous sword as though it fascinates, yet disgusts him.

Wonder what that's all about.

**_4:59am_**

"Bilbo?"

Gandalf is here. He's holding a sword too. Two swords in fact, and one he's holding out to me. "Here. This is about your size."

A sword? For _me_?

"I can't take this, Gandalf."

"Bilbo.."

Looking around, to make sure none of the others will hear, I quietly explain, "I've never used a sword in my life."

"And I hope you never have to," Gandalf says. "But remember; true courage is not about knowing when to take a life, but when to spare one."

But I don't know either of these things! And I don't remember the contract saying_ 'Oh, by the way, you might have to kill something brutally with a sword or an ax or a catapult'_!

**_5:01am_**

Well, I'll be buggered. Turns out the contract _did_ say that. Not in those exact terms, but still.

**_5:03am_**

On the move again. We've just heard an assortment of odd noises. I won't be happy if I _do _have to kill something now, I tell you.

**_5:05am_**

So, _this _is Radagast the Brown. He's nuttier than Gandalf.

The hell did he manage to get a bird in his mouth...?

No. I don't need to know. Am happier not knowing, thank you very much.

**_5:08am_**

Wizards are talking about Wizardy things.

**_5:11pm_**

Wizards are _still _talking about Wizardy things.

_**5:13am**_

Am going to ask Bofur if he knows any magic tricks. Very, very bored now.

**_5:15am_**

I can hear howling...

"Is that a wolf? Are there wolves out there?"

_Pleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleasenopleaseno..._

"Wolves?" says Bofur, and he sounds tense. "No, that is not a wolf."

Oh, thank Yavanna.

**_5:17am_**

That lying, hat-having, pigtail-wearing sod!

That's a wolf-like creature, if not an actual wolf. Oh, gods. This is terrifying.

"Warg scouts!" Thorin identifies it. "Which means an Orc pack isn't far behind."

"Orc pack?" I ask.

"Who did you tell of your quest beyond your kin?" Gandalf demands of Thorin.

"No one!"

"Who did you tell?!" the Wizard persists.

"No one, I swear!" Thorin snaps. There's a serious look in his eyes, far more serious than any other look I've seen him wear. "What in Durin's name is going on?"

"You are being hunted."

By Orcs _and _the Warg things? Oh, _no_.

"We have to get out of here!" Dwalin decides to tell us.

Oh, no, Dwalin. I thought we'd stay here and have a lovely little chat with the Wargs and the Orcs.

"We can't! There's no ponies, they've bolted." Ori tells us. I can't remember seeing him leave. How _quietly_ can he walk?

The fact, however, remains that we are all doomed.

"I'll draw them off," says Radagast with all the confidence I'd expect from a madman like himself.

"These are Gundabad Wargs, they'll outrun you." Gandalf warns.

"These are Rhosgobel Rabbits," Radagast says, a manic gleam in his eyes. "I'd like to see them try."

So would I, actually.

_**5:41am**_

We're running across a grassy plain and hiding behind rocks. Ori's nearly gotten seen by them! Luckily, Thorin grabbed him back before he could be noticed. Dwalin's arm is clamped over my chest, keeping me secured against the rock we hide behind. His hand is holding onto my shoulder and it takes me some time to realise that his fingers are making little rubbing motions, as if he knows how terrified I am.

I always knew he was a softie.

**_6:00am_**

On the move again, are we, and Gandalf's disappeared _again_.

Bloody Wizard. We should put a leash on him or steal his staff for situations like this one.

"Where is Gandalf?"

"He has abandoned us!"

I hope he hasn't. It was his idea, this mad venture, in the first place.

"This way, you fools!"

He's a fine one to call us fools. He's a fine bloody one.

Well, better go see what hi-jinks he's going to lead us into this time.


	5. New Places, New Things

**Will be the last one for quite a bit! (Exam season) I'll be back in a month or so , but until then, hang in there and I'll be back soon!**

**Love you guys!**

* * *

**_6:15am_**

We are in a tunnel. A long, rocky tunnel and Nori has a grip on my elbow like a vice. I suppose he doesn't want me wandering off.

Starting to wonder if the Ri family will form a line and give more reproachful speeches.

**_6:16am_**

At least there's no more Orcs. One of them fell down after us and had an _Elven_ arrow embedded into his flesh. Wish I'd seen the Elves.

_**6:31am**_

_Finally_, we're out. Was getting quite tired of bumping into Bifur every five seconds and receiving a long-suffering sigh in response.

**_6:33am_**

We're in Rivendell.

_Rivendell_.

Alright, we're not in it technically speaking, but we can see it and we're so close. It's beautiful. Just beautiful.

Thorin's not happy, though.

"-seek refuge with our enemy!"

How many enemies does that Dwarf have?

"You have no enemies _here_, Thorin Oakenshield. The only ill will to be found in this Valley is that which you bring yourself."

Apparently he's going to handle the charm part of it. I don't think he thinks Thorin can be charming.

He bears a point, I suppose.

**_6:43am_**

It's so wonderful. Bathed in the golden mist of the still-rising sun, the pale, wooden buildings reflecting that light, with the white waterfalls running down the surrounding cliffs and orange trees rustling in the warm breeze, I can see why Mother spent so much time here.

I CAN SEE AN ELF!

Huh. Dwalin was right, Elf men do look like women. I only know this one is a male because of his voice. He and Gandalf are conversing and I can hear the familiar name of 'Elrond' in their conversation.

'_He's very tall, taller than most Men, and he has long, dark hair with a silver circlet,' _I remember Mother saying, _'He looks quite stern, but is a very kind person and likes to laugh and joke when he can.'_

She was on good terms with him, writing to him until after Father died. She then stopped writing as much, though he sent her many letters of his own.I wonder if he'll remember her.

My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of hooves and Thorin calls out something and suddenly Bofur's pushing me into a circle, one the Dwarves have made. I can see more Elves.

They are on giant, sleek horses and one holds a flag. They go around us and I hear Gandalf say, "My Lord, Elrond!"

He is tall, more so than Gandalf who I always thought is the tallest person I'd ever meet. Elrond's saying something in Sindarin, something about Orcs and a Hidden Pass. Suddenly, he's switched to Westron. "Something, or someone, has drawn them near."

I think he's subtly blaming Gandalf.

**_6:50am_**

Thorin really doesn't like Elves all that much. Didn't look at all happy when Elrond mentioned his grandfather. Still, I know better than to ask. Kili just whispered to him about it and got a terrifying stare for his trouble.

We are just arriving at the chambers, and Kili looks quite excited.

Oh, no.

**_6:51am_**

"Ori, Bilbo, share a room with us!"

He's having a laugh. I know _exactly _what he and Fili get up to at nights. The loud noises, the giggling, the gasps... I have no desire to hear them plotting and sharing their tales at night, thank you.

Thorin looks vaguely amused. "You'll be murdered in your beds before dawn," he says, "so on your own heads be it if they agree."

Ori's shaking his head. "I think I'll pass, thank you. I don't think there's enough room for four."

"We could bring an extra bed." Our Elf guide suggests, a mischievous smirk on his lips.

Ori gives the Elf a surprisingly evil glare and tells him not to burden himself through gritted teeth.

"You might as well stay with us tonight, Bilbo." Kili says, seemingly earnest. "There are three beds, after all."

Eh, it probably won't be that bad.

**_7:15am_**

Am with Thorin and our Elf guide, and we have found the baths. They're heavenly. Bit hot, but what can you do?

"I'll leave you both to it," Our Elf guide says, with a wink at us.

That sleazy sod. The hell does he think we'll do?

"Elves!" Thorin says, shaking his head. He starts pulling his tunic over his head, he's left his coat in his room, gifting a view of his body, which is, as always, covered in a thick coat of hair. Gods, he's fine. He's now taking off his trousers.

Can't. Stop. Looking.

Trying to look at my fingers which ar fumbling with the buttons isn't helping. I keep thinking of him and the fact he's more or less in front of me really isn't helping.

"This is why _we_ have large buttons," Thorin says and before I can stop him, he walks over, hands batting mine away and suddenly he's taking my shirt apart, button by button. I can hardly breathe.  
He's only trying to help, but he's really not. Looking down, I can see something long, hard and shiny. Wow. Look at the size of _that._ It's about the size of my leg! The damage he could do with that thing...

Wait, why does he have his fancy new sword in the baths with him?

_**7:25am**_

Got a lecture of safety from my question. All while half naked. Fantastic.

As he lowers himself into the steaming water, giving a grudging sigh of relief, I tell him, "I don't think the Elves will honestly attack us, Thorin."

"Thought the same things about the Trolls, I imagine." he says, in a curt fashion. "Hurry up and undress, Halfling, for Mahal's sake."

"I didn't want to get caught, you know." I tell him, wrapping a towel around my waist and wriggling out of my breeches.

"I didn't think you did want to, but it was a very foolish thing for you to do."

Dipping a foot in the water and shuddering at its warmth, I step in and crouch, removing the towel as I do so. "I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

Snorting a little, he reaches out and pulls me nearer. "So, I should hope."

"My biggest regret is the rest of you got caught too."

"We couldn't leave you to face them alone, could we?" Thorin says, looking steadily into my eyes.

"Why did you place your weapons down?" I blurt out, without meaning to.

His face blanks for a brief, few seconds and he replies, "Not one person in this Company shall be left to die. We will not abandon each other. Did you not read the contract?"

"Must have missed that bit."

He rolls his beautiful eyes. "Do not, _ever _go into danger alone again. Wait for us, find us, do you understand?"

"I do. I'm sorry, Thorin."

His face softens a little and he draws a hand from underneath the surface of the water, ruffling my curls. "Apologies accepted, Master Baggins. Though I would have you discuss it with the Company, also."

Well, that's something to look forward to, but I suppose he's right to point this fact out. Poor Bombur, especially.

"Hmm. Are there no _masculine_ soaps here?" Thorin asks, a tad too loudly for my liking.

"Thorin! For pity's sake, they might hear!"

He grins a devious smile, looking worryingly like Kili. "Good."

"You Dwarrows," I mutter, rolling my eyes.

Thorin raises an eyebrow and splashes water in my direction. "Don't you roll your eyes at _me_, Master Baggins!"

"Don't you throw water at _me_, Master Oakenshield!"

"The cheek of Halflings!" Thorin says.

"Well, you started it. I thought leaders were supposed to be wise and forgiving."

"I am wise and forgiving," Thorin retorts. "And as leader I am within my rights to put others in their places." With this, he aims another tidal wave at me and then holds my wrists ere I try another attack.

**_7:32am_**

Beginning to think our sleazy Elf guide was right. Thorin's massaging me now. Just turned me around without a by-your-leave and began rolling his thumbs across my shoulders, easing out the aches and pains.

By Yavanna, he's good at this.

"You have such tenseness in your shoulders."

"I imagine you do, too."

He chuckles. "Not so much. Keep still now."

Between the tender warmth and the wafts of lavender, jasmine and honeysuckle along with Thorin's hands (Gods, those hands!) I can feel everything catching up with me. He lightly tuts and shakes my shoulder.

"Stay awake, little one."

"How are you still awake?"

"I don't need much rest. Besides, I know I'll be able to sleep soon." He gives my shoulders a last squeeze and gently shakes me again.

"Do you want me to-?"

"No, I have no pains. Go on, I'll see you in a few hours, Master Baggins."

How he can give someone a massage and then call them by their name so formally, I'll never know.

**_18:01pm_**

Curse Thorin and his magical hands! I've _well _overslept, though I can see Kili and Fili curled up together, asleep, in the bed opposite me.

And I've missed three meals. Stupid, sexy Dwarf.

**_18:03pm_**

"Kee." Fili croons. "Wake up, Kee."

He calls Kili 'Kee'? That's... weirdly sweet.

"'K off, Fee."

Aww. He's so cute when he's just waking up.

"Wake up, Kee. It'll be time for dinner soon." Fili says.

"Don't want dinner, I want sleep."

"You'll never grow a beard, if you don't eat enough."

Kili's eyes tear open and with a battle-cry, he lunges at his cackling older brother. "YOU!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Fili howls in the midst of his laughter. "Come on, Kee, you know I didn't mean to upset you."

Kili pauses his attack, gazing suspiciously down at Fili who simply stares back up at him. "That was _horrible _to say," he tells him, nettled.

"I know, I'm sorry. It was wrong."

Kili shuffles back, giving his brother a tragic look which I'm sure he's doing for the sole purpose of raising Fili's guilt levels.

It works. Fili sits up and grabs his brother into a tight hold, burying his head into Kili's shoulder offering words in the Dwarven language. Kili looks rather pleased with the outcome.

I wonder if he does that to Thorin.

**_18:31pm_**

Thorin may not like Elves, but they've done wonders to our clothes. They're clean! Dinner's a little boring, there's only salad, but they have warm bread rolls and cheeses on offer, along with a creamy garlic dip that few touch.

"Just try it. Only a mouthful." Dori is insisting to Ori.

"I don't like green food."

Lettuce isn't that bad, but I see his point.

Elrond is looking at Thorin's sword. "This is Orcrist, the Goblin Cleaver. It was forged in the West, by the High Elves of Gondolin. My kin." Handing the sword back to Thorin, Elrond adds, "may it serve you well."

Thorin looks like he doesn't want the sword back as much now.

**_18:34pm_**

_Apparently_, my sword isn't a sword. Stuff it. It's an Elvish blade and it can glow blue. I'm keeping it whether it's a 'real' sword or not.

**_19:58pm_**

Dinner is over and Kili managed to charm one of the Elves into giving him directions to the kitchens. Thorin looks torn between amusement and horror at his youngest nephew's antics, before shaking his head and beckoning me over.

"Come, I wish you to see this, burglar."

See what? Elrond, Balin, Thorin and Gandalf are waiting around, looking at me expectantly. The hell do they want _me _for?

**_20:48pm_**

We've been standing around, listen to Gandalf make small talk with Elrond for ages now. I bet the others are having a right laugh at the moment.

Also fairly certain Kili's chasing after Elf women. I _saw _the way he looked at the one with dark hair and blue eyes. Oh, yes. I saw.

"Moon's coming up now," Elrond observes. "Thorin, may I see your map?"

"No."

"_Please_, may I see it?"

"No."

"I won't be able to understand it if I do not see it."

"No."

"For goodness sake, _Thorin_," Gandalf says, "show Lord Elrond the map!"

"It is mine to protect. As are its secrets."

"Save me from the stubbornness of Dwarves!" Gandalf mutters. "Your pride will be your downfall. You stand in the presence of the few in Middle Earth who can read that map. Now, show it to Lord Elrond."

Looking completely unhappy with everything, Thorin reaches into his pocket, ignoring Balin's protests and brings it out, giving it to Elrond.

"Erebor. What is your interest in this map?"

He's the prince of it, of course he'll have some interest! Though, I suspect Elrond already knows. He seems the sort of person you can't hide things from.

"Mainly academic," Gandalf says.

Elrond looks hilariously doubting.

_**21:33pm**_

As any fool (except that Wizard and our majestic Dwarf King) could have predicted, Lord Elrond now knows, or at least has an idea, of why Thorin needed his map read. Anyway, off we went with Elrond, due to our leader's wish to know of the map's contents ranking higher than his huge dislike of Elf-kind.  
As it stands, we are now in a rocky place, water splashing its way down in thick, luminescent falls before our eyes, standing in front of a giant silvery table, waiting for the Moon to come out and shine its pale beam on the map so Lord Elrond can read what it says.

Don't ask me why _moonbeams _of all things. Must be a Dwarven magic.

**_21:34pm_**

Thorin looks so beautiful. The water racing down the cliffs casts his body in a white crystalline glow, catching on the little slivers of silver in his hair. His eyes look away from the sky and settle briefly on mine before glancing up again. He looks about ready to pull the Moon itself from the sky.

_**21:46pm**_

Excellent, we can now go back to the rest of the Company. Lord Elrond succeeded in telling Thorin about the contents of the map and we can now do whatever the hell we want.

_Stand by the grey stone when the thrush knocks and the setting sun with the last light of Durin's Day will shine upon the keyhole._

Thing is, aren't mountains pretty much grey all round? I've seen pictures of mountains and they're all grey and cold-looking.

Better ask one of the others. Balin and Thorin are deep in conversation with each other and I'll be damned if I know where Gandalf's gone off to.

**_21:59pm_**

Everyone's been told of what the map said. All are chattering excitedly, save for Ori who is scrawling the events in a thick book. I sit by him, wondering how best to ask the question of the mountains.

"What is it, Bilbo?" he asks, not stopping his writing.

"Can I ask you about mountains?"

There's a sudden stop in conversation, most eyes looking my way, some with suspicion, others with mild interest. Ori blinks, finally looking up and stopping his quill.

"Of course! What is it you want to know?"

"It says 'stand by the grey stone'. Are mountains not grey?"

**_22:00pm_**

What is everyone looking at me like that for? They look like I've just sprouted an extra head.

"No!" Ori yelps, snapping his book shut. "Grey? Mountains aren't _grey_! They're so colourful and wonderful, how can you think they are grey?"

"Stones are grey and mountains are made of stone."

"Not all stones are grey," Nori says. "Some are green, some are red, some are blue, others can be purple and if you're lucky you'll find some that have all colours of the rainbow."

"I didn't mean gemstones, I meant... Boring ones."

"There are no boring stones," Dwalin says, closing his eyes as though reigning in all his patience. "All stones are sacred. They have their own values and they are _all_ beautiful if only one knows how to cut it right."

"We will find this grey stone, I am sure," Thorin says. "However, the Lonely Mountain is most certainly not grey, Master Baggins. It is beautiful indeed. Drenched in golden light in the summer. Shimmering a silver-white glow at night. Little pale flowers stubbornly clinging to its surfaces. Our kingdom truly is a wondrous place."

"And inside is even better," Balin adds. "It is dark, aye, but it also glows. It glows with the flickering of thousands of jewels in wavering firelight. There are many colours in that kingdom. Marble stands against the walls of our most sacred places and it reflects any light. The mines show us the fire of the earth and that bright flare adds to its wonder."

"It will be ours again soon," Thorin says, eyes faraway and determined. "All ours."


End file.
